he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
