don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
