belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have fence marks all over my body
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
