I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
