You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
