Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
