I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
