he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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