Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
