Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
