what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
