Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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