theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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