This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
