Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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