Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize