if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize