Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
