sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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