Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize