Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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