I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
