Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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