that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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