at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
