I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
