She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
