Sponge bath it is.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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