i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
