her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize