I wish I could punch you in the face.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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