I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Houston, we have a squirter
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
