batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
