dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
