I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
