some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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