I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ttyl tear gas
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is Oprah even human
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
