Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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