You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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