Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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