all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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