I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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