sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
