i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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