Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Let's paint friendship bongs
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
