This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
