who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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