nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
