i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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