She said her name was "party"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
