You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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