I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
