did you get engaged???
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
