I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
