I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
