I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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