recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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