We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
