I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You ruined the universe
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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