I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
