fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
