ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My apartment stinks of burning failure
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
